The story that everyone wishes was thier story, story

There once was a man who lived in a small cave. He had no shoes but that didn't matter since his supply of oranges was still on

standby. He didn't have any friends, but prefered to be alone anyway.

He didn't need anyone to be happy. Got it? BUT, he did get bored sometimes. So he went out of his cave for the first time in FORTY-BAJILLION MILLI-SECONDS! OH SNAP! But unfortunately he forgot that there was a bottomless cliff right outside so he fell into it and is still screaming to this day while he keeps falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling, just because he went out of the south entrance of his cave.

But since nobody new the guy it didn't affect the world one bit. Wait, except for this ghost that had a crush on him. Now she can rest in peace because no one else can have the guy as a boyfriend.

When the ghost was alive she didn't have any boyfriends either so her only chance was this lame guy who lives in a cave!

HOW PATHETIC! OMG I LOVE LAMAS!

The End.

Wait a second, the guy actually went out of the NORTH entrance to his cave. Sorry! I SHOULD JUST TAKE A BIG SLEDGE HAMMER AND STUFF IT DOWN MY ESOPHAGUS! But there was still a botomless thing there, too, so it doesn't matter.

Oh,yeah, that guy was also gay because Harry Pothead gave him a visit and when the guy didn't give him any oranges Harry yelled "HOMO ERECTUS!" which made the guy homosexual which actually didn't matter since he lived in a cave anyway. And then harry also fell into the bottomless watchamacallit.

By the bye!

***

Sorry if I made any one cry with my overemotional story. and don't you all send me praise all at once because the world will self destruct in five seconds.

wait actually in five billion millenias. Also, the world won't self destruct, it will only burp.

-TonyDog

Moral: The early bird gets the worm (no really, that's the moral of the story. You just have to spend 10 hours analyzing the story and you'll see it! BWAHAHAHAH!)

Comments & reviews · 11
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User avatar
Black Ghost
Comment

Thank you! At least someone recognizes my genius!

User avatar
Julri
Review
Julri wrote a review · Thu Apr 13, 2006 5:18 am

Wow. This totally sounds like something I would have written. In fact, I'm considering stealing your idea and selling it for millions. Whoa...

Anyways, I can't put the awesomeness of this story into words. You know, I think if everyone wrote a story like this every now and then, the world would be a better place. Or, at least, much more interesting.

Peace! 8)

User avatar
Torpid
Comment

wow ure sig is huge.

and nobody ever said anything about THE BESTEST STORY EVVA bein bad, random, stupid, rubish, even though it might have been slightly funnier

gosh....

Random avatar
Elizabeth
Comment

LIGHTEN UP????
NEVER!!!
then I'd be ugly Grey coloured :(

User avatar
Poor Imp
Comment

@_@''

That was definitely - well, it was amusing 'randomness'. I don't know about a moral - unless that's more random...

Oy. Not really critique-able, eh? It did make me laugh...after I dropped the quizzical frown and reread.

User avatar
Black Ghost
Comment

ok, ok, sorry I know this is stupid I guess I was just really bored, no one has to take it seriously.

and black rose, why are you so uptight? It's not like the world will come to an end if someone posts something dumb once in a while, lighten up!

User avatar
Poetriez
Comment

that was harsh rose but i want to point out that their is an error in his tittle it should be their not there

Random avatar
Elizabeth
Comment

I think... I'm having.... a heart attack....
These are lke all the ones that people SHOULDN'T POST!
We're writers, thus the name of the society.
So write like one or bugger off....

User avatar
Swires
Comment

Yeah it does seem rather random, you need to be "taking the mickey" out of something for it to be "wittiful "

User avatar
Snoink
Comment
User avatar
Griffinkeeper
Review

Kind of random. It is lacking in purpose, which is saddening for a piece of satire.

When you're using stories like this, it is best to have a moral attached to them, might want to see a story I wrote for a parable.

It doesn't mean your moral has to be serious, it just has to be there, otherwise we don't know what your making fun of.



I just write poetry to throw my mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I’m going to throw you off the ship anyway.
— Vogon Captain (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)